Day One - Testing 1 2 3

Nicotine's like an ex girlfriend. I'm not by any means exaggerating when i say that my whole night was tossing and turning about dreams of smoking, the good times, and the bad times ahead. Rejecting cigarettes from friends and feeling fucked up, all the quiet fags late at night to gather my thoughts, and for some reason, dreaming i hooked up with an old classmate of mine (totally random).

They all came flooding back to me last night, and when I woke up, I felt like Nicotine was not playing bloody fair. This was a good mindset. It's almost like good versus evil.

Went out for lunch with a buddy that's been smoking with me for a long time. He suggested Kanna Curry house. Eventhough we've enjoyed many a cigarette there before, I decided that the same could be said for any place, so I need to eat anyway.

After our satisfying lunch, he immediately reached for his pack of Kents, and I'd be lying if my hand didn't twitch just a little in response.

I held fast. He was saying something about the poker game the night before, but my mind was just trying not to think about the beautiful cigarette in his hand. He dumped it and soon reached for another.

Again, the hand twitch, although softer this time.

Now I actively tried to listen to him, and found myself carried by the conversation. I went with it, and the feeling subsided. *whew*.

The day wasn't so bad. my programmer came over to work on foldees.com as usual, and soon it was dinner time.

After dinner though, i met up with some people for an open house (still 1 day left to CNY so everyone's getting it out of their systems). In that group, at least 60% were smokers, but they went out in couples. Each one was a temptation but i resisted. I knew that this would be nothing compared to where i would be in two hours time.

Every year, we make a homage to Benny's house. He lives alone in SS2 and it's a smoker's haven. Free-flow of booze, plentiful ashtrays and only one non-smoker. That's partially because the main reason we go there is for high-stakes poker.

I first stopped by 7-11 to get my meds - 5 lollipops and a packet of chewing gum (which you see in the opening picture. Note the chewed ends). With a strong resolve, I headed over.

When i first got there, the sweet smell of Dunhill menthols came wafting through. It didn't tear my eyes like it does every year. Instead, I really wanted one. One of the regulars even threw a cigarette at me, asking me to quit quitting.

But i resisted. And I just got back home (200 bucks richer too!). After what's been my first harrowing 21 hours of not smoking. Damn. I hope tomorrow's easier.

My new resolution? Everytime I'm in a high pressure smoking environment, I'm bringing ChupaChups for backup!